…And sometimes when life is hard I just don’t feel like writing.
But even though life is hard and I don’t feel like it, today I am going to write. I apologize in advance that this post isn’t going to be particularly witty or upbeat. Right now, I just don’t have the energy to “fake it til I make it.” So you’re going to have to put up with honest, real, and not-quite-so-peppy Steffi today. I hope that’s alright.
Here I should interject that I’m not trying to complain, nor am I looking for sympathy. Overall, my life is amazing, and my challenges are relatively small. I know that I’m fortunate, that I’m blessed, and that God has been very good to me. Yet in spite of all that—even when I know that I am fortunate and blessed and I can see God’s goodness—sometimes life is still hard.
Honestly, I feel kind of weird writing this. I prefer to show my happy and put-together self to the blogging world. This feels messy and vulnerable and downright strange, and I don’t particularly like it. At the same time, though, I recognize that there is value in sharing the not-so-sunny side of life. Here’s why.
Jesus didn’t die on the cross, so we would have to fake it. He died so we could be in a relationship with Him. And relationships at their core must be based on honesty and trust—they must be real. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and He wants us to be ourselves, even when ourselves aren’t particularly peppy or happy or “perfect.” He loves us. And because He loves us, our brokenness doesn’t scare Him, and our neediness doesn’t repel Him. So instead of hiding these not-so-perfect places from Him, He wants us to invite Him into them.
And so that’s what I’m doing… or at least what I’m trying to do. Because even though my situation right now is challenging, my emotions are all over the place, and I don’t feel even remotely “put together,” I trust that He can handle it. He is constant, He is good, and He loves me as I am. And not only that, but He is ready to meet me where I am, not just where I think I should be.
So wherever you are, whether you are up or down or upside-down, cry out to Him. Cling to His promises. Run into His arms.
“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” ~Psalm 62:8
Let go–and let Him love you.